I Don't Know How To Say Goodbye
by Azulastalker
Summary: Eliot and Sarah's relationship is getting more serious and he wonders if he can juggle Leverage and the relationship or if he'll have to leave one of them. Eliot/OC. T for sexual references.


Sarah rolled over in bed, sunlight streaming directly on her face. She lazily opened one eye and stared at the offending window. Why hadn't Eliot shut the blinds? Oh right, he had been busy with . . . _other_ things last night. Wait, where _was_ Eliot?

Sarah sat up in bed, noticing that she was alone. The covers slid down her naked chest and pooled at her waist. Was he in the kitchen? Her apartment was silent. He hadn't gone back, had he? He said he got a week off from the Leverage jobs.

Sarah pulled the covers back and stood up. She looked at the discarded clothes around her bed. Eliot's clothes were missing. Her heart fell. He couldn't be gone. He usually stayed the night and made breakfast in the morning, then they had one last quickie before he had to leave. Yesterday he had talked about staying a few more days because he had so much time off, so he couldn't be gone. But where was he?

Sarah grabbed a robe from a post on her bed and put it on. She padded out of her bedroom and into the hall. She entered the living room and found Eliot's stuff still sitting in a bag on her couch, but no Eliot.

So he hadn't gone far.

Sarah turned in a complete circle and saw no clue to his whereabouts. She sighed.

Her and Eliot had been together for years, ever since he saved her life. He'd found time to see her whenever he wasn't off doing some job. He was a charming romantic and Sarah always looked forward to his visits. Last time, he had cooked a candlelight dinner and they drank wine until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Sarah crept over to his bag and unzipped a side pocket and began rummaging around. Things between them were getting more and more serious and this long stay with her made her feel like he was getting ready to pop the question. With him nowhere to be seen and his bag right here, she figured she might as well check to see if her suspicions were right. She found nothing and searched a few more pockets before she heard her front door unlock. She quickly zipped up the pocket she was in and stood, stepping away from the bag. Eliot walked through the door, his phone in hand.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!" She said, a smile on her face. "Where have you been?"

"Hardison called. I didn't want to wake you." He said.

Sarah's face fell. "Why would he call you? You guys have the week off."

"Him and Parker found a job. Some corporation stole this man's research and tried to kill him so he wouldn't say anything. They want me back in Portland." He fiddled with the phone in his hands.

Sarah blinked a few times. "But . . . you said you'd be staying for a few days. I even stocked the fridge with ingredients for you to cook with."

"I'm so sorry. They need me." He stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders.

Sarah tore away and took a few steps back. "They just had you! When do I get you?! You're always off doing some job with them."

She crossed her arms in front of her. Eliot closed his eyes for a second.

"You know how important this is to me. How much I like helping people. This man needs my help."

"But you're away all the time and I'd like to see you." She pleaded and took a step forward. "How can we become anything if you're always going between here and there?"

He stepped closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders again. "Actually, I have to talk to you about that."

She looked up at him, her eyes wide in horror. Those words were never good. He took a deep breath and continued.

"You know I can never settle down and get married. I'll be running with Parker and Hardison until I die. This job . . . it's not something I can just stop. I'm helping people. I, I know you want to settle down, get married, have some kids, and I'd love to have that, but I just can't." He said, looking sadly into her eyes.

Sarah froze in pain. No, this wasn't how this was supposed to go. He was supposed to propose in the most romantic way and they were going to get married. She tore herself away from him for a second time and held her hand over her mouth, tears prickling her eyes.

"You had to know I'd never stop. I can't." He added. He kept his hand at his side, but wanted to reach out and touch her.

"Please don't say what I think you're going to say." She said shakily.

"Sarah . . . " He reached his hand out to her.

"No, please." She shied away. "I can't not see you anymore. You saved my life. I feel safe with you." She spat out quickly.

"But what if someone tries to use you against me? Kidnaps you and holds you hostage?"

"You'll save me, I know you will. And no one's kidnapped Hardison or Parker. You haven't had to save them yet."

"But I'm always around Hardison or Parker." He said firmly.

"Well maybe you should be around me more and you wouldn't have to worry about that." She felt the tears form on the edges of her eyes, ready to escape at any second.

"Sarah, you know I can't."

"Take me with you and I'll work at the bar or whatever. Just . . . please don't leave me." She wrapped her arms tightly around herself. Eliot stepped closer to her, but knew she'd never let him touch her in her state.

"I can't run dangerous cons and be with you. It won't end well." He reasoned softly.

Sarah crumbled forward and sat on the floor, tears streaming down her face now. She put a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs.

"We were supposed to get married." She whispered so softly that Eliot had to strain his ears to catch it. He felt his heart shatter at her words.

"Sarah, please. I'm so sorry." This time he knelt next to her and attempted to hold her, his arms extended.

"No." She said firmly. He stopped. "If you're going to leave, then just leave. Don't bother to make it right, because you can't."

Eliot stared down at her with sad eyes. He stood up silently and grabbed his bag from the couch. He walked past her to the kitchen counter and placed his copy of the apartment key down. He took one last look at her on the floor, she refused to meet his eyes, and left, closing the door after him. Sarah sobbed quietly to herself, feeling her world crumble around her.

* * *

Eliot stood outside of her apartment complex. He took out his phone and dialed Hardison.

"I'm on my way. I'll be there in a few hours." He said gruffly.

"Alright. Hey man, you okay? You sound angrier than usual." Hardison replied.

"Yeah, man, I'm fine." He spat back.

"Alright! Just making sure. Sarah take the news well?"

Eliot clenched his fist at the name.

"She's fine." He said through his teeth.

"Alright. See you soon."

"See ya." He hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket.

He reached into his other pocket and pulled out a velvet box. He opened it to reveal a bright diamond ring. He ran his thumb over the jewels softly.

He had been thinking of the possibility of proposing to Sarah. The last few times he saw her made him just so happy he was actually thinking about settling down. Yet the phone call from Hardison this morning reminded him that he was always on the job. He'd never have time for a family, no matter how much he wanted one. His vision of coming home to Sarah and their kids was destroyed when he realized that he would never stop running cons. Him and Sarah had a wonderful night last night, but the second Hardison called he was dressed and ready to leave. He'd stayed outside Sarah's door after Hardison hung up, just thinking about their future. It was then that, with a heavy heart, he realized he couldn't have the family he wanted and there was no point dragging Sarah along any longer. And it'd all started with that phone call.

"Dammit Hardison."


End file.
